But for an entire generation of teens and preteens, the game had been changed. Now vapor filled my lungs before I managed to fully open my eyes.Īt this point I was an adult with nobody to hide my habit from. Even at my most addicted, when I was nearing a pack a day, I could make it until my morning coffee before lighting up. I had smoked cigarettes for the entirety of my young adult life. Never had I been able to consume so much nicotine so conveniently. Instead of having to go outside for a cigarette every few hours, I could now smoke constantly. If I couldn’t feel the hard outline of it in my pocket, full-on panic set in. Instead of the Juul weaning me off smoking as planned, I became more addicted to nicotine than before. Because it was smaller than a pencil and virtually odorless, I could smoke it wherever and whenever I wanted. That tiny, USB-flash-drive-shaped stick swept me off my feet. It seemed like the lesser of two evils, or at least that’s what I told myself. After one mile, as I sat clutching the curb and wheezing as if I’d just completed an Ironman, I decided it was time to quit cigarettes.Ĭue the vape. It was winter break, and I tore myself away from the warmth of my den to go on a run. There started my decade-long love affair with nicotine.Ĭut to nine years later.
We huddled in a circle, shoulders touching behind a bush, and sparked what we didn’t know at the time would be the first of countless “bogies.” Why? We thought they were pretty and, in the interest of full transparency, we probably thought they made us look cool (shocker). The summer before high school, my girlfriends and I got one of our older siblings to buy us a pack of pink Camels. Nevertheless, I fell head over heels for cigarettes. In high school I was a two-sport varsity athlete who worked out religiously and kept a strict diet.
Actually, I’ve always been somewhat of a health nut. In fact, my dad is a cardiologist, so I’ve never been naïve about the risks. I started smoking when I was 13 years old. Let me tell you about my first love: nicotine.
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